THE MILLENIALS’ PARADIGM SHIFT

Millennials have questioned much of what previous generations took for granted, from work-life norms to media consumption, and their attitudes toward relationships and commitment also represent a healthy shift from tradition. 

Millennials, as a generation born roughly between the early 1980s and the mid-1990s, do exhibit some unique characteristics and approaches to relationships compared to those of previous generations. While not all individuals within any given generation behave or think the same way, there are nonetheless some general trends observed among millennials’ approaches to committed relationships.

TRUST THY PARTNER

Millennials’ experience of relating to others has been defined through digital connectivity: they have grown up in an era of rapid technological advancement, especially with the proliferation of smartphones and social media. They often rely on online dating apps and websites to meet partners. This generation, more than any other, has daily communicated far more with their partners, including through texts, video calls, and social media interactions.

As a result, millennials are unique in that they possess an unparalleled ability to know exactly whom they are marrying. More than ever before, people can conduct research on their fiancés through their digital footprint.

Plus, millennials spend more time on casual dating than previous generations, which meshes well with their preference for delayed commitment and open communication. They explore options for longer in their dating lives, and they choose partners who support their individual goals, passions, and personal development. Millennials tend to prioritize finding a partner who shares similar interests, values, and aspirations. Compatibility and personal fulfillment are considered essential in their relationships.

Additionally, they know themselves. They often prioritize personal and career goals before settling down. Factors such as financial stability, educational pursuits, and a desire for self-discovery play a role in their decision to postpone marriage. Millennials value personal growth and self-fulfillment. Consequently, their self-knowledge and their time spent getting to know their partners build self-awareness in the context of a relationship.

Media over recent years has noted that millennials have a much lower divorce rate compared to previous generations. Given the above building blocks of their relationships, it’s easy to see why their commitments last.

DISTRUST THY LEGAL SYSTEM

When millennials visit JustPrenups.com, they are more concerned about their future planning than they are about protecting themselves from their future spouses. A prenup might have been synonymous with distrust in previous generations, but not with them.

They already trust their fiancés. But they don’t trust a legal system that may subject them to a hurtful, prolonged, expensive divorce rife with litigation.

Their prenups reflect their dedication to lessening the pain of a potential divorce. Their agreements’ provisions create directions for each partner to navigate the end of the marriage. Their prenups seek to facilitate both partners moving on with fewer hurts. In this regard, the prenup is still evidence of the partners’ care for each other, even through the end of the relationship when they may be in the heat of disappointment, anger, and grief.

BROAD PLANNING FOR A SHARED FUTURE

Millennials see their agreements as an initiative-taking tool for estate and financial planning and as the codification of their expectations for each other. Overall, their generation has an increased acceptance of prenups compared to previous generations, who largely have perceived them as taboo or as indicative of a lack of trust – or even as fostering divorce. In contrast, many millennials see prenups as practical, responsible measures to protect their individual assets and interests as well as a means of negotiating more personal aspects of their marital relationship.

Millennials are more likely to view prenups as a vehicle for achieving fairness and equality within a relationship. Millennials are often more open to customizing prenups to fit their specific needs, goals, and circumstances. They may include provisions for pet custody, social media behavior, or other unique considerations that may not have been common in previous generations.

Compared to previous generations, millennials tend to approach relationships with a more egalitarian mindset. They seek partnerships based on equality and mutual respect, where both partners share responsibilities and make decisions together. They may use prenups to outline financial responsibilities, to address potential power imbalances, and to establish guidelines for property division, spousal support, or other financial matters.

A MAP FOR CONFLICT

Millennials emphasize fairness and transparency in their long-term, committed relationships, which extends to wanting clear terms for any period of separation before filing for divorce. More specifically, they want behavioral standards articulated for the touchy period during which the couple is actively evaluating the future of the relationship. This period may include terms for who leaves the marital home during a separation and what the person is allowed to take from the marital home.

Behavioral standards for this delicate time can include when status may be changed on Facebook, for example, or what sort of social media behavior is appropriate in discussing certain aspects of their lives, or in promoting a business that they created together during the marriage. 

DIVORCE IN A BOX…WITH LOVE xoxoxo

Their agreements obviously contemplate the end of the relationship. But their prenups don't end there.

Their agreements may include measures to save the marriage during hard times. Prenups may include provisions that throw a life preserver to the relationship, such as mandating attendance at marital therapy sessions before leaving the marital home. 

This focus at JustPrenups is called a divorce in a box. The prenup contains instructions that include explicit language on how to dismantle their lives together, down to the nuts and bolts. For example, at the end of a cohabitating relationship, the couple will need to dispose of property, transfer accounts, decide on paying utilities, and determine how quickly one person will move out and/or sell the house, to name a few.

DIY PRENUPS…WITH HELP

Instead of viewing prenups as adversarial or one-sided, millennials tend to approach the process more collaboratively. They want to work with each other on setting terms instead of watching lawyers volley drafts of the prenup back and forth via representation for each partner.

At JustPrenups, a partner may retain the services of an attorney for representation, as some financial, legal, and family situations are best suited for the traditional model of each partner being represented by different attorneys.

But increasingly, most couples opt for mediation in which they build the bulk of their prenup by themselves with guidance from the mediator to cover important issues. From there, the couple may incorporate the assistance of lawyers to review their draft or use financial advisors to ensure that the agreement is optimal for tax purposes. They usually approach estate attorneys with their completed prenup in hand to make sure that the prenup and their wills work together to memorialize their goals.

If you see yourself in these descriptions, please talk with us to decide if mediation or representation is best.

We offer remote meetings via Zoom to work with your schedule. Complete the questionnaire to initiate a free consultation.

Warning: All posts on this website contain general information about legal matters for broad educational purposes only. This information is not legal advice and should not be treated as such. This blog post does not create any attorney-client or mediator-client relationship between the reader and JustPrenups.com.